Parenting Poetry

I’d rather be in London, I’d rather be in France, Rather than being here with you peeing in your pants

There'd be no reason to complain Wild animals would magically become tame Everyone would win every game If all the socks were the same. All the crazies would become sane There would no longer be any pain There'd be no bad people to blame If all the socks were the same. A masters degree would be easy to obtain Every pine tree would have a candy cane All the bad drivers would stay in their lane If all the socks were the same. No one would call anyone a bad name You'd hit every target you'd aim Your shirt would never stain If all the socks were the same.

(Sung in C major) Home, home full of the strange Where the kids and the husband complain Where seldom is heard an encouraging word And the skies are all cloudy all day

The teacher says meet at nine And we can leave on time Everyone get in line Filing on the bus, Filing on the bus, Some kid makes a fuss When will we get there? When will we get there? I'm ready to pull out my hair Special moments spent with my child But these field trips get wild

Where did the kids go? Where did all the blankets go? It's fort building time

I need help wiping! I need more toilet paper! Cries from the bathroom 

Watching kids eating Is like watching mold growing Or two snails racing

Snow falls, snow falls Time to go outside to roll snow balls Put on snow pants, boots, coat, mittens and winter cap I'm ready for a nap!

Going to Meijer, going to Meijer, never will I tire Going through the aisles, going through the aisles The items in the shopping cart in piles Standing in line, standing in line Kids riding on Sandy one more time...one more time

When it is four below you won't have another chance   So kid, before you do your own potty dance  Remember a liter of pee will still freeze through your snow pants

Yummy, yum! They yell Hungry, hungry hippos game My ears are bleeding

Can I watch tv? Repeats, repeats every day Will it ever end?

I remember changing diapers Every single day I remember changing diapers Till my nose hairs ran away

Crumbs between my toes Crumbs all over the counter Crumbs are everywhere

The time drags slowly When will my husband get home? Have to make dinner...

kids surround me here this first post they won't allow they are my zombies